Self-Inquiry
Self inquiry is the absorbing of consciousness back into its source through one pointed focus and devotion. It is directing attention away from involvement in the contents of the mind, to the source of Awareness itself.
This is the journey from self to Self. The river flowing into the ocean. This method of investigation is termed Self-inquiry (who/what am I?) and was advocated by the great Indian Sage Ramana Maharshi.
"Who/what am I?" is not an intellectual exercise. It is not an exploration of definitions. It is an investigation of the very nature/essence of consciousness (Is-ness/being/I am-ness).
As one deepens in this inner absorption, and through grace, the feeling sense of the Self emerges and strengthens. It is recognized that what one is, is the essence of existence itself. There is the recognition of Self as pure freedom and joy. One notes that they are the awareness of experiences but untouched by any experience, just as a movie screen is untouched by the projection of a fire upon it. Thus pain is pain as an experience but has nothing to do with the true Self. Identification with the experiencer (ego/mind) is no more. This will likely come in glimpses/tastes for varying durations.
Recognizing this blissful free Self seems to result from:
1) Deep intention (Self-inquiry becomes a lifestyle, an habitual way of looking so that even in activity part of awareness is always within on the inner Presence / Self. Deeper tastes come every now and then, but practice must continue until the mind is permanently and effortlessly absorbed within;
2) The ability to focus (on the essence of being rather than following thoughts. As thoughts are devalued and interest in them lost, they naturally subside, revealing more clearly the Self),
3) Discrimination (essence from form and definition, the real from the ephemeral),
4) Devotion (to the truth or God above all else),
(5) Surrender (to the inner Presence)
(6) Grace (initially the devotee thinks they are seeking the Self/Truth but it is the Self/Truth which progressively attracts the self). Grace seems to be granted to those who strive relentlessly on the road to freedom and who seek to transcend the attractions of the ego and choose love, compassion, forgiveness and universal good will to all of life above all other choices, without exception.
Where the devotee is imperfect because the ego habits are so strong, but is sincere in turning and asking for help, Grace enters to help.
self-surrender
The other method of discovering the Self is through self surrender. This is for those who believe in God. One surrenders themselves completely to God. One keeps surrendering all personal willfulness to God. This amounts to a continual letting go of the attachment to the contents of the mind and the urge to control, moment to moment, to God. One ceases resisting whatever experiences are arising and surrenders all attractions and aversions, and all emotional positions and opinions to God. What results is not an unintelligent zombie state but the joy of freedom, and the pure Intelligence of the Self progressively emerges and shines through. In this, self and Self, mind and Spirit are not different.
Surrender is not a passive act nor a casual affair. Letting go is done at ever deeper depths and becomes ever more meaningful and joyful.
© Jonathan Kalman 2007
